This is a comment in response to someone stating that public libraries should not only have "quiet zones" but "active" areas for customers to chat, yell, eat, whatever...

He called again today to check up the upcoming tourdates of Patti (which I already stated when he called the week before). 
However, we had a new question today yet somehow still slightly related to marijuana in a round about sort of way.

"I need information on financing a coffee shop in Amsterdam."

That's why they call it dope!

 

Apparently my library has a customer who has been calling for years asking the same questions over and over again. Lately I've  had the pleasure of his inquiries.
The first problem is that he garbles his words and he has a really bad phone connection. The second problem are the nature of his questions which are unconventional and just simply odd.
Question 1:
"Where is Patti Labelle playing in concert next?"
We have Patti Labelle's never-ending tour schedule bookmarked on our computers. This week she is not only playing  in the District  but he was especially thrilled that she was playing in NYC at Roseland in the next few days.
Question 2:
"Where is marijuana legal?"
We also have NORML bookmarked.
My response usually ranges from "Well, sir, marijuana isn't technically legal anywhere it is merely tolerated in places like Amsterdam, parts of Copenhagen and British Columbia." to "Marijuana isn't legal anywhere sorry!"
Then he usually says. "How about Hawaii?"
"Nope, not even Hawaii!"
Question 3: (he must like Hawaii)
"When does the next semester of Honolulu Community College begin?"
Of course we have that university bookmarked as well and I really don't think he has actually matriculated anywhere.

Obviously we all get strange calls everyday at our respective places of employment, however, these are strange questions that are asked by the same person every week for two years!
WTF?

My system is getting a new ILS this week so I have been unable to access our catalog at all. It sucks but I've been using the old, customer OPAC in the interim.

Best search result of today:

Keyword search "movie and software".

One hit/ result:

"Nostradamus Ate My Hamster" by Robert Rankin


Nice.

Yes, that's right. One of my colleagues (I am using that term very loosely) was eating a hot dog at the information desk this week! Last week it was a Snicker's Bar and the week before was cereal! CEREAL. As in Milk, Spoon, etc...
This is also the employee who is late everyday due to mysterious traffic. Traffic is no longer a mystery when it happens everyday. We are supposed to arrive at 9am every morning. Today she arrived at 10! If I can make it from DC (a 45 minimum commute), you can certainly make it from your home 20 minutes away. Get it together you lazy asshole.

I could go on about this particular employee but I have customers to resent.......

I hate working with people that make more money than I do, who are lazy and don't know shit about being a librarian or customer service.
It really irritates me.

I know a lot people think Bill Clinton did a wonderful thing by passing the Family Medical Leave Act but so far my experience with it is bullshit. The only people I've known to use it are lazy motherfuckers who don't want to work. Our building and maintenance guy uses FMLA at least once a week! Oddly enough these days seem to always fall on a Monday or Friday. Hmmmmm....what a strange coincidence! Oh yeah, my favorite was the Monday after Super Bowl Sunday. ( He is a major football fan).
The other day he left a teeny-tiny note attached to the opening librarian's office door that stated:
"I was here for an hour this morning. I turned on the computers and took out the garbage then went to the hospital."
Apparently he has diabetes and a doctor who is very generous with notes for his absence.
I'm kinda thinking smoking Swishers, eating fried foods, being overweight and possibly drinking alcohol isn't helping your supposed illness.
The hilarious part of this pathetic situation is that the head of the childrens department hates this guy. She can't stand that he gets away with this shit because of FMLA. She rides his ass all the time waiting for him to fuck-up so she can get his ass fired. So, naturally he calls out sick (using FMLA) when she is opening the library. She can't take it because then she has to do the garbage throughout the branch. One day she asked the rest of the staff (myself included) to help out with the garbage. It is specifically stated in our union contract that trash is not one of our duties. We all looked at her and walked away. She was a little miffed so I told her that she wasn't obligated to do the trash either. She responded, "Well, somebody has to do it." Actually, no, somebody doesn't have to do it because we also pay a cleaning service that arrives after the branch closes.
FMLA is crap. Thanks Bill Clinton for enabling even more laziness in the workplace. You're a dick.

Since when did it become ok to eat in a library?

Conversation with 2 teenagers today: (one has an open juice bottle and an open bag of chips and the other has an open juice bottle)

Me: "Hi, we don't allow eating in the library. You can put your computers on lock and finish your food outside if you like."

The teens: "We not eatin"! They nuthin' in it!"

Me: "OK. Whatever. Just for future reference you can't eat in the library. Thanks."

Me (in my head): "Yeah, there isn't anything in there because you already ate it you stupid, little fuck!"

I know I just got a new job as a librarian but I've decided I am going to actively pursue another (hopefully better) job. After I woke up this morning, paid all my bills and looked at what was left over I started crying. I am making so little money I am actually looking for a part time gig to get me by. I just don't love working in a public library enough for it to be worth it. My commute is a bitch and I get shit for a salary so I can sit at an info desk all day and serve the following clientele:
1) Students looking for "The Great Cosby"--- Naturally I ask, "Do you mean 'The Great Gatsby'? by Fitzgerald". "No, I'm pretty sure it's 'The Great Cosby'" Final response: "Sorry all of our Cosby Show DVD's are checked out!" What else am I supposed to say....really?
2) Women with funny hats looking for the newest E. Lynn Harris or some other crazy christian fiction bullshit written by people who received a degree from the University of Phoenix.
3) Teens that the librarian community now calls the "Disconnected Youth" who have no job, no school and come into the library all day to look at their quasi-porn, myspace accounts. Disconnected Youth? I don't fucking think so. I think the term is "lazy".
4) The patrons who desperately need to send an email to someone yet have no email account themselves to send one from. And the inevitable question always comes out..."But why would I need an email account to send a message.? That doesn't make any sense!" Yes, well, neither does our country electing a complete moron as president who thinks OB/GYN's "spread their love" around hospitals and doctor's offices but here we are nonetheless.
5) And finally the job seekers who are upset that the only way they can fill out a job application for Safeway, Giant, fast food restaraunts, etc is online. "Why can't I just print it?" they ask. "Well, sir, this is the companies way of weeding out applicants who might not be suitable for the job. You see most of these places require their employees to use computers. So, chances are if you can't fill out the online application, then your time as an employee of that wonderful institution will be very short."
I hate to be the harbinger of the technological truth but it is what it is.

So, after six years of college and a lot of debt I am pulling in a little over a thousand bucks every two weeks to serve this crop of "customers". 
Just not right!


I can't even get started on Obama pandering to the christian evangelical community on Rick Warren's mega-church showdown this past weekend. All of the candidates suck as far as I'm concerned. We are fucked (again) for another 4 years.
Peace Corp here I come.
 

 Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash
1/22/1995
Gusman Hall Miami, Florida

Tags: best concert, hpmusic2, what do you have to say?, writer's block